Histeria! Returns!
by flyingtigers3
Summary: In 1999, Histeria was a cartoon series, helping viewers to learnt about world history. But by 2001 it was cancelled. However, what if "Histeria!" still had episodes to air, depicting more events in history? Then here's the place to find out for yourself!
1. The War to End All Wars!

**The War to End All Wars!**

We begin the show with Father Time, dressed in a neat British soldier uniform, in the middle of the trenches of World War I. The war was drawing to a close. Big Fat Baby was taking cover beside Father Time, completely trembling in fear as saliva drools down his mouth.

Father Time: The year; 1918. The place; war-torn Europe. *screams with popped out eyes*

A nearby artillery barely misses the duo. Father Time pops back up while Big Fat Baby was still shielding himself from the action.

Father Time: The First World War was about to enter its final hours. And here I am… *screams again*

He ducked down to avoid a rapid barrage of machine-gun fire.

Father Time: …em… still in no man's land. Phew. Anyone got a gas mask?

The scene changes to a sort of information desk. At the desk was Miss Information. You try saying her name and you'll know why they call her that.

Miss Info: And as the brave fighting men from all corners of the world continue battle each other, something had to be done to end the suffering and horrors of war. Which was why the leaders of America, Britain, France and Italy decided to meet up and put an end to the conflict

Well, just because she was called Miss Information, doesn't mean she's always misled. Then we come to an old lady who claims to be around since air was created! They don't call her the World's Oldest Woman for nothing.

W.O.W: When the fighting turned for the Allies, the time was right to meet and put their negotiations on the table instead of the battlefield.

Next, we have a row of neatly-dressed and powerful-looking men all in front of a European-style doorway.

Father Time: The leaders who met together were, American President Woodrow Wilson.

Woodrow Wilson: If you want to make enemies, try to change something. Like how the Kaiser changed his policy to attack our ships. And apparently his moustache.

Father Time: British Prime Minister, David Lloyd George.

DLG: A politician is a person with whose politics you don't agree; if you agree with him, then you're a nut! *chuckles*

Father Time: French Prime Minister, Georges Clemenceau.

Georges: My home policy: I wage war; my foreign policy: I wage war. All the time I wage war. Even my wife's homemade dinner I wage war. Sacre bleu! *hits forehead*

Father Time: And Italian Prime Minister, Vittorio Orlando.

Vittorio: Uh… I tell no lie?

*screen pans to George Washington*

Washington: Um, that was taken. And that's no lie.

*back to Vittorio*

Vittorio: Uhhh, we need to be the change we wish to see in this world?

*screen pans to Mahatma Gandhi*

Gandhi: I must apologize. That was taken. Well, at least not yet.

Vittorio: Uh, pizza anyone?

DLG: He sure doesn't have a quote to say.

Miss Info: These four leaders were to be known as the Big Three!

Yep, there it was. Miss Information doing what she does best.

*QC to Father Time*

Father Time: Ahem, anyway, the Big **Four **met at Paris, France; a country torn by four long years of ruthless and fatal combat. They discuss on what to do with the defeated Central Powers…

(QC to a map of Europe and Turkey)

Father Time: …that mainly consisted of Germany, Austria-Hungary and Turkey.

(QC to a German soldier with a white flag and he was strapped in bandages.)

Soldier: We surrender!

(QC back to Father Time)

Father Time: And now, let us take a look back at the Big Four in their resolutions to end World War One.

(We now approach a building where the Big Four meet.)

DLG: Gentlemen, we gather here for a solemn agreement which peace may be restored.

Woodrow: Why do I get the feeling that's going to be said again?

(QC to General MacArthur with bubbles coming out of his smoke pipe)

MacArthur: I wonder…

(QC to Lydia Karaoke, network censor. She always has a habit of getting the stars and guests to control their language and attitudes, to make sure it fits well in the show.)

Lydia: Thanks for using that bubble blower we gave you, General, sir.

She gives a short salute. (QC back to the meeting)

DLG: Germany and her allies are about to lay their weapons down. Now, we need to find a way to punish them out. Any suggestions?

Clemenceau: How 'bout we give them a bread ration for ruining all our precious wheat? How dare you take our beloved pastries?!

Woodrow: Now now, let's not put food into this, Mr Clemenceau.

Vittorio: Then what 'bout me pizza? (Takes out a plate with a pizza on top.) The Austrians did worse with OUR part of crops!

DLG: Gentlemen, gentlemen, this is no time for a food fight. Though I could use a slice of pizza right about now.

Vittorio: (Takes pizza away.) Don't think about it for a minute.

DLG: Now, we must come up with more probable solutions for the endgame. With me right now, are the top advisors for settling worthless conflicts. Come right in!

(Pan to the entrance of the room, five of the advisors come in running.) They were actually children.

Advisor 1: Gain way!

Advisor 2: Make room, dudes!

Advisor 3: Yo, Kid Chorus in the house!

Advisor 4: OW! STOP STEPPING ON MY FOOT!

Advisor 5: Out of the way!

Everyone else except David Lloyd George

Clemenceau: Eh, Mr George? You sure you picked the right people?

Woodrow: Or were you in some kindergarten recital?

Advisor 4: HEY! IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED WE ARE WEARING THESE TIGHT AND UNCOMFORTABLE SUITS? DO YOU SEE THESE IN A RECITAL?!

Allow me to introduce the five kid stars of "Histeria!" First up, we have Froggo, a small fry with a voice that could make any frog jealous. Second is Toast; a surfer dude who doesn't seem to have a care in the world. Next is Aka Pella; who is feistier than you think for a girl. Then, there's Loud Kiddington; who has a voice so ear-shattering, it is said he was the one who made that crack on the Philadelphia Bell.

Loud: HEY! DON'T THINK I CAN'T HEAR YOU?!

Right. And lastly, Charity Bazaar, who doesn't bring up a smile often, unless it's a cookie in front of her.

The five kids approached the Big Three. Froggo pulled out a map of Europe.

Froggo: Here, gentlemen. Here's what you oughta do.

Aka: Yo, homies. See these small areas painted here? (She points at those particular areas in Eastern Europe.) These are areas you gotta take from the enemy since they need to be punished. How about you claim these areas and make them nations?

Woodrow: Hmmm, sounds plausible. Very well, we shall name them

(QC to the map. The nations' flags come out as each name is called.) …Estonia, Finland, Czechoslovakia, Latvia, Lithuania, Yugoslavia and Poland.

DLG: I thought Poland existed already?

Charity: Well in case you haven't noticed, Poland was separated after the Seven Years War and were given to Russia, Prussia and Austria.

Loud: WHAT A NUT!

Clemenceau was reeling from Loud's outbreak of noise.

Clemenceau: Sacre bleu! You deaf, monsieur?

Woodrow: Speaking of the enemy empires, we gotta do something about them. I mean, this world has seen enough of imperialism for one day.

DLG: Agreed, but **I'M **keeping my colonies in Asia.

Clemenceau: We!

Woodrow: I suppose. Since I have the Philippines. But coming back to the enemy…

Froggo: Why not separate Austria-Hungary? Or end the Ottoman Empire of Turkey? That's a start.

Charity: Remember that you should also start punishing them for real, like take away their armies.

Vittorio: Sounds harsh. Why not shrink their armies instead?

Aka: I wouldn't do that if I were…

She was cut short by Woodrow Wilson.

Woodrow: Agreed! They do need an army to defend themselves, even if they started this war. They should do no more harm at the same time.

Charity (whispering to Loud): Tell that to Hitler.

Loud chuckles, but the whispering could be barely heard by David Lloyd George.

DLG: What was that?

Charity: Uh, nothing.

(QC to Hitler)

Hitler: *chuckles* Thanks suckers. *laughs evilly*

(QC back to the meeting)

Charity: Anyway, not just that. Start thinking about reparations for Europe.

(QC to a living caricature of Europe)

Europe: Yeah, I'm all tuckered out…

(QC back to the meeting)

Aka: You gotta make the enemy pay for all the destruction, (slams fist gently on her other palm) literally.

Clemenceau: Woodrow? What do you think?

Woodrow: Hmmm, I think that's a splendid idea.

DLG: Here, here!

Vittorio: Si!

DLG: We'll make all this part of a new treaty. Since the place of choice, thanks to Mr Clemenceau, so happens to be the Versailles Palace, we'll call it, the Versailles Treaty.

Toast: No duh.

Loud: WHAT A NUT!

DLG: Do you ever get tired of doing that?!

Loud: NO! BUT IF YOU COULD GIVE ME ABOUT FIVE BUCKS I'D PIPE DOWN!

DLG: Who'd be dumb enough to do that preposterous nonsense?

(QC to Abraham Lincoln, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson at Gettysburg. Watch "HIsteria!" episode, "The US Civil War Part 1")

Washington: *chuckles nervousily* That'd be us…

(QC to DLG who blinked twice in confusion)

DLG: Not only that, we're going to need something more than just making new nations or punishing the enemy. We need to have countries of the world to mutually and devotedly agree on terms of world peace and safety.

(QC to Miss Info)

Miss Info: Thus, the leaders agree on building an international body to preserve world peace and secutiry. And they called it the United Nations!

(QC to the meeting)

DLG: (looking dumbfounded) Okay no, but I do like the name. Better keep it for later.

(QC to UN Secretary Ban Ki Moon)

Ki Moon: I'm on it.

(QC to meeting)

DLG: For now, let us call it, the League of Nations.

Woodrow: Well, you can do that, while I will try and stay out of any further trouble in Europe this time.

(QC to Franklin D. Roosevelt)

FDR: Well, easier said than done.

A Japanese bomber flies overhead and drops a bomb on Roosevelt.

(QC back to the meeting)

Froggo: Excuse me, sir. (yanks sleeve of Woodrow Wilson)

Woodrow: Yes, strange one.

Froggo: Have you thought about what happened to Russia?

Woodrow: All I know is, well, they stopped fighting.

(QC to Tsar Nicholas II who is in his palace with communist protestors outside.)

Nicholas: Says you! (screams as a brick breaks through the window next to him.)

(QC to Vladimir Lenin)

Lenin: What a nut!

(QC to Loud)

Loud: HEY! THAT'S MY LINE!

Vittorio: And what do **I** get from this war?** Nothing! **Hmph!

DLG: Now then, let us have a toast! To the end of this gruesome conflict! Let this be, the war to end all wars!

Woodrow: Here here!

Vittorio: Excellente!

Clemenceau: We!

The kids were not so amused

Froggo: Oh boy.

Aka: Ditto.

Toast: Duh

DLG: Cheers!

But before they took a sip of water (thanks a lot, Lydia.), they sniffed something in the air that would give Pepe Le Pew a run for his money.

Woodrow: Phoo wee! What is that revolting odour?!

Aka suddenly came in and lent a Big Fat Baby, in need of a good diaper, to Vittorio.

Aka: Big Fat Baby needs a change!

BFB: Gah gah gee!

Vittorio: Dio mio! When was the last time this baby had a fresh diaper?

Charity: Remember when Garibaldi helped the Italians unite Italy?

Vittorio: 1861?

Loud: BEFORE THAT!

Vittorio took another whiff.

Vittorio: Eck! You do it! (gives Big Fat Baby to David)

DLG: What?! No! Woodrow! (tosses Big Fat Baby to Woodrow.)

Woodrow: No way.

He threw BFB to Clemenceau, but hits a pie, splattering it all over Clemenceau's face. Clemenceau wiped his face and angrily glares at Woodrow.

Clemenceau: Well that's just great! Food Fight!

Food started flying everywhere as the angry leaders of the United States, Britain, Italy and France started to fight a new war of delicious proportions. The kids duck under the negotiations table.

Loud: GEEZ! WHAT A BUNCH OF GROUCHES!

Toast got splattered on the face with a cream bun and licked it off.

Toast: Mmmm, tasty!

Aka: They say it's better to settle things at the table. I guess they were wrong.

Charity: I'm not happy.

Froggo: I hope this won't happen again.

(QC pans to another building where we see Franklin Roosevelt, Winston Churchill and Joseph Stalin throwing food at each other.)

Winston Churchill: Speak for yourself!

(QC back to 1918. The fighting goes on as the camera now zooms out of the building.)

Father Time: And so, with the agreements between the Allied leaders, the First World War ended and the world began to be repaired. (Looks left as a piece of cake flew right past him.) And I think it's going on real… (A pie smashes on his face.) … sweet. (licks off a bit of the cream.

**The End!**

**Well, that's my first fanfic on Histeria! Please R&R and hope that this was good enough for a fresh new start for the series **


	2. The Great Depression

**Hello readers! Well, if you haven't heard of me, I've been writing this fanfiction with Transformers, Pokemon and Digimon altogether. But now, I'm going to write a series of a TV show in need of attention. Personally, I enjoy reading about World History, particularly the two world wars. So after watching "Histeria!" I realize that there can be things to add to this storyline. First of all, I do not own "Histeria!" and the property of the show rightfully goes to Warner Bros. Nevertheless, I hope this was a good effort to write a historical cartoon fanfic. I don't even know if anyone's paying attention to the show anymore but nothing's impossible! So here goes!**

**If anyone isn't aware of the show itself, I recommend watching it on Dailymotion, but to be brief;**

**An event in history would be narrated by Father Time, who keeps watch on everything that has happened. Always accompanied by his sidekick, Big Fat Baby (who was indeed a big, fat baby.) There are also kid characters who always mess about in these particular events. But in the end, a lesson is learnt and kids watching the show can remember what the show had presented. **

**First things first. I'm gonna start with a very short skit just to get this started.**

**The Great Depression**

Father Time: The year, 1929. The place, New York City, USA.

Father Time and his sidekick, Big Fat Baby were outside at Wall Street. The round and smelly baby who hasn't changed his diapers since the Declaration of Independence was signed.

Father Time: The Wall Street Crash of 1929 occurred with the sharp drop of economy and money from the Stock Market. This led to the Great Depression; the worst economic disaster in American history.

Big Fat Baby pulled out his pockets and found nothing and wept in disappointment.

Father Time: The effects of the Crash were no doubt sufferable and left the United States on a knife's edge. People began to not being able to afford good quality things.

*Scene changes to a blank room, with Big Fat Baby in front of a business graph*

Father Time: With the money plunging down at the fastest extent…

The line graph from 1920 gradually went up until when it reached 1929, the line suddenly dropped down all the way down to the floor, even breaking through it. Big Fat Baby jumped up in extreme shock.

Father Time: …unemployment and inflation followed.

In another part of Wall Street, two young kids in shabby clothes, Loud Kiddington and Charity Bazaar, were sitting on top of a box each. Father Time was next to them.

Father Time: And now, Histeria will now show you a dramatic re-enactment of the Great Depression.

Charity was depressed, so was her typical character. Loud, on the other hand, was pulling an average face instead.

Charity: I'm not happy.

Loud: SO?! WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?!

Loud yelled at the top of his voice. You get why he is called so.

Just then, Father Time, not so amused, pulled out a chocolate bar from his pocket.

Father Time: Well, you can't even afford to buy a candy bar at this rate.

Both Loud and Charity were now frowning.

Loud & Charity: We're not happy…

Father Time: This has been a dramatic re-enactment of the Great Depression. Thank you.

Father Time bows. Suddenly, he realized the candy bar is missing from his hand. He looked around to find it and eventually, he found it. Too late to save from Big Fat Baby; who let one rip after devouring the yummy sweet snack.

BFB: Aaaahhhh…

Father Time pinched his nose to block out the stench.

Father Time: That's a rap. Peeyoo!

**The End!**


	3. Behind-the-Scenes: Settling Back In

**Behind-the-Scenes: Settling Back In**

**In 1998, Warner Bros. released a new cartoon series to educate young viewers about the famous and infamous moments in history. It was called "Histeria!" However, after two years of airing, the show was cancelled. The cast members of the show said their farewells and left the show altogether. However, here in Flying Tigers Studios, we got them back together! For a good price, we managed to "revive" the series, and when I meant good price I meant free! (A/N: I don't own Histeria! and the rights go to Warner Bros.)**

**Back behind the scenes, as the members conclude an act or event, they spend time behind the scenes to do a little mischief before returning back on stage or scene. They have just taken a break after the World War One sketch. Backstage, we see Miss Information tending to the Big Four, who have been having a blast throwing food at each other after a small dispute.**

Miss Info: Well boys. How was the sketch?

Woodrow Wilson: Phew, I haven't had this much fun since the celebrations of the war's end.

David Lloyd George: Here, here. (points at Vittorio Orlando.) Oh and Vittorio, you missed a spot.

Vittorio: (licks off sauce on his cheeks) Mmmmm, yummy pasta.

Georges Clemenceau: Which reminds me, let us have le feast of le best. On moi!

**The four of them walk off to head to some French restaurant. However, people would not believe their eyes on seeing these great leaders still alive in the 21****st**** century. And not far away, two of the Histerians, Loud Kiddington and Charity Bazaar were cleaning themselves up after the food fight.**

Loud: *chuckles* THAT WAS A BLAST!

Charity: You said it. It feels good to be back in show biz.

**They looked around the set. They saw Big Fat Baby messing around with buckets of paint and even tossing one of them at Father Time, who gets red all over his poor bearded face. There was also Froggo checking with the next sketch with his clipboard.**

Froggo: (looking at us) Hey, no spoilers! (blocks camera)

**Also, Bill Straightman and Sammy Melman were discussing on business profits and surveys about the show's "revival". Aka Pella and Cho Cho were both carrying a couch, with Lucky Bob and Toast sitting on top of it.**

Lucky Bob: Hi-YO!

Toast: What's up?

**(A/N: I will introduce the other characters when they appear in the next sketches.)**

**Just then, a familiar face arrived on the scene. He was a man dressed in a full military uniform and wore shades. He was smoking his bubble-pipe (due to the show's parental guidance policy) and looked around the set. He was General Douglas MacArthur, the famous World War Two General. And in case you haven't noticed, he made a cameo in the last sketch.**

Douglas MacArthur**: **Well, as I said before, "Histeria!" shall return!

** Suddenly, out of nowhere, a teenage hyper-active girl named Pepper Mills was hopping around like a marsh hare, screaming about as she jumped at the sight of the renowned General.**

Pepper: AHAHA! It's you! OMG, it's REALLY you! Oh, how I always admired your charisma and talents. AHA! May I please have your autograph?! Oh, please, please, please?!

Douglas MacArthur: (looking awkward) Uhhhh, sure thing, ma'am.

** He took out his pen and Pepper's autograph book and signed his autograph for her. He then gave it to her.**

Pepper: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, th…! (stops suddenly) Hey! You're not Gregory Peck! Gypola! (walks away)

MacArthur: Huh? (feeling curious, shrugged his soldiers at us, takes off hat and scratches his head)

**The World's Oldest Woman was taking a break from inviting the guests of the show. While she was at it, she was staring dreamily at Bill Straightman. I got to tell you, she has been dating over 5,000 men in her life. Wonder if Bill will land on number #5001? Miss Info, on the other hand, was guiding a group tourists in a field trip into the new studio.**

Miss Info: Come on, people. We're walkin', we're walkin', and to my right, we find George Washington (Washington waves to crowd) who as we all know, was named after the monument! Moving on now… (passes by Washington. Washington looks on in disbelief)

Washington: No matter how many times I tell 'er, I say again; the monument was named after ME!

**And there were other people who seemed to be fitting in well with the new studio.**

Loud: Sure nice to have the old gang back together!

Charity: (nods) For once, I am happy.

Loud: Say, Charity, how is it that, after thirteen years of absence, that we are still, like eleven years old?

Charity: (eyes widened in shock) Huh. That's a really good question!

(QC to me, flyingtigers3)

**Don't look at me, it's just how things roll around here. Just go with it.**

(QC back to studio)

Loud: So what's the next sketch about?

Charity: Well, I wouldn't wanna spoil the news to our viewers (faces us); not if Froggo has anything to say about it. Anyway, I don't even know 'til we know for sure.

Loud: FUNNY, I THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT THE 1857 REBELLION IN IND-

Charity: (covers Loud's mouth) Sssshhh! No spoilers, remember? (releases Loud)

Loud: Oops! SORRY!

Charity: Phew. I'm always wondering why you're always yelling.

Loud: Beats me. Sometimes I just wish to know why you're so depressed.

Charity: Hmmm. I'm just as curious as you are. (shrugs shoulders) And it's most of the time that you're NOT yelling when I'm around, except in the sketches.

Loud: (nervously fiddles his hands) Uh, uh, yeah… Another good question *chuckles nervously*.

Charity: Hmmmm? Oh well, if you say so. (walks past Loud)

Loud: Phew! (wipes face) That was close.

Charity: (bolts right back, looking amused) What was that?

Loud: (shouts in shock) Um, nothing. Just, uh, my mouth froze with the ice-cream and all…

Charity: (raises eyebrow, sarcastically) Right… Oh well, see you later. (winks at Loud)

Loud: (sweats) Whew.

** Meanwhile, Father Time was walking right by us. **

Father Time: (stops walking when he noticed us) Oh. Pardon me, but we oughta be ready for our next sketch. So sit back and enjoy…

(QC to Loud in colonial dressing)

Loud: HISTERIA! (rings bell)

(QC to Miss Info)

Miss Info: Histeria!

(QC to Froggo, in the food fight earlier)

Froggo: Histeria!

(QC to Big Fat Baby)

BFB: His-Ter-La!

(QC to Big Four in French restaurant)

All: Histeria!

(QC to Nana Sahib)

Nana Sahib: Histeria!

(QC to the entire cast)

All: HISTERIA!

(Big Fat Baby jumps up)

BFB: YAHHH!

**THE END!**

**Note that this was not how it usually goes in the actual show. It was just something to show what would've happened if I took over with the show. Again, this show belongs to Warner Bros. and I have no right to claim it. And note that I'm going to pair some characters here, something not done on the show but on other fanfics.**

**Do review! Thanks **

**P.S. I don't know what QC actually means, I just saw it on the other fanfics, meaning that the camera rolls over to a different scene and stuff.**


	4. Rebellions and Revolts: Sepoy Rebellion

**Rebellions and Revolts: The Sepoy Rebellion**

**Narrator: And now! Live from our studios in Flying Tigers Studios, it's "Rebellions and Revolts!", with your host, Vladimir Lenin!**

**(QC to silhouette , sitting in an interview section room, who, when the lights come on, is revealed to be Lenin himself)**

Lenin: Zdra-stvu-eetee and welcome to "Rebellions and Revolts", comrade viewers!

**(Audience claps loudly as Lenin bows)**

Lenin: Ah, it is good to be back on Histeria again. A revolution no doubt! It is** I**! Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, founder and leader of the Soviet Union of Russia from 1917 to 1924! (waving a small Soviet flag) Yes I was the one who overthrew the tsar during the Russian Revolution!

**(QC to Leon Trotsky)**

Trotsky: Our hero!

**(QC back to Lenin)**

Lenin: And I am here to interview some notable figures in the past who had the spirit of pure rebellion and radical revolution indeed! So sit back and enjoy this week's revolution!

**(Audience claps)**

Lenin: (sits on chair) Okay! Now, our very first guest is a young soldier from India, who revolted against the English imperialists in 1857! Please welcome, Nana Sahib!

**(QC to curtains, where Nana Sahib enters the room. He sits on another chair, opposite Lenin in an interview kind of way.)**

Nana Sahib: (waves at crowd, who were still cheering) Namaste to you too! It is nice to be on this hysterical show!

**(Crowd and Lenin laugh at the comment. Nana Sahib was rather confused.)**

Sahib: What is so funny?

Lenin: *finishes laughing* Ah, you know how to come with such great puns now, yes?

Sahib: But isn't it why they call it "Histeria!"?

Lenin: (stops smiling and stares at Sahib, then clears throat) Right, moving on. To start with, what do you do? Or rather what **DID** you do?

Sahib: Well, as you already heard, I led the Indian rebellion of 1857 against the British Empire. Trust me, they were the WORST!

Lenin: I see. So why did you decided to REVOLT… (thunder noise and lightning flashes) … against the British?

Sahib: Well, they were pretty bossy I suppose. The Suttees and Thuggees were eliminated by the British and…

Lenin: Wait, what are…?

Sahib: Oh, the Suttees was a sacrificial Hindu custom while the Thuggees were mercenaries. Moreover, we revolted against the British because of Western education.

**(QC to a classroom, participated by the kids of Histeria dressed in Indian attire, their teacher was a British man, dressed in the usual Redcoat uniform)**

Sahib: It was complicating learning English most of the time. We were very used to our old cultures until the British changed everything. It was hectic for us to learn everything so fast.

British Teacher: Now then, what does this mean? (points at the blackboard with the word "Hello" on it.

Toast: Uh, _dhall_?

British Teacher: No, young man. It is "hello".

Froggo: Jello?

British Teacher: No, not "jello". "Hello".

Lucky Bob (known for his dumbness and Ed McMahon catchphrases): Yellow?

British Teacher: Not yellow! HELLO!

Lucky Bob: HIYO!

British Teacher: (glares at Lucky Bob) Meet me at my office.

**(QC back to the show)**

Lenin: Well, that is intellectual capitalists for 'ya.

**(QC to Big Fat Baby, beating the drums to the "badamdss!" beat.**

**BFB: Badadadss!**

**(Audience laughs after the beat) **

Lenin: Well, enough with that. Let us continue.

Sahib: (Looking not so amused) Right, and now I'm coming to the case of the Enfield rifle.

Lenin: And what is this Enfield case? Does it involve any overthrowing of the king or anything?

Sahib: No. We love our King.

Lenin: I see. (not so fond of the saying) So what is the big deal with this rifle?

Nahib: Well, the rifle is often greased with the fats of animals that are considered taboo for us.

Lenin: Religion, huh? Now I've seen everything.

Sahib: Yes indeed.

Lenin: So I understand you then led the Sepoys?

Nahib: Yes, the Sepoys were actually forcibly recruited by the British from our well-known Brahmin monks and Rajputs. This was not good for our image as we were full of dignity before the English came. So that was why we rebelled. We began our rebellion at the region of Meerut.

**(QC to map of India, 1857, where an arrow pointed at Meerut. Big Fat Baby was jumping up and down with joy, wearing a sash around with the year, 1857, written on it.)**

Sahib: However, although we were initially successful, we were eventually defeated by the English.

**(QC to Sahib in the middle of the battlefield, waving the white flag)**

Lenin: And here's another thing I've heard from our Histerian friends. It appeared that the British took away your precious curry dishes.

Sahib: (suddenly angry) What was that?

Lenin: Eh, curry?

Sahib: (enraged and yells) AARRRGGHHH! THOSE BRITISH FOOLS! THEY BEGAN RATIONING OUR CURRY FOR ALL THOSE YEARS AND THAT WAS WHAT MADE ME TICKED! TAKE THIS ENGLISH! (throws pillow at a random place and throws a glass at another, followed by many more items)

Lenin: (ducking for cover under his chair as audience scattered in panic) Well, that's all we have for our show today! Until then, (a stray chair barely missed the communist leader.) may all your rebellions and uprisings be REVOLUTIONARY! Dasvidania!

**(Camera zooms out and fades to black) **

**Narrator: Stay tuned as the great Lenin will be visited by Simon Bolivar! See you next time on "Rebellions and Revolts with Vladimir Lenin"!**


	5. Minutes with History: Malaysia

**Minutes with History: Malaysia**

**(The screen shows the title, "Minutes with History" and "with Froggo!")**

**Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, here's the moment you've all been waiting for! The show that lets you explore the world's past in just a few minutes! It's time for Minutes with History! **

**(Then the title fades and we see Froggo at a news table with the sketch's logo behind him)**

**Narrator: And now, here's your host, who has the voice of that'd make a bullfrog jealous, the whacky kid who sounds like the director's relative. Here's Froggo!**

Froggo: Welcome to Histeria's "Minutes with History". Where we shall take a look at some of the most unique histories of well-known countries. And trust me, it's only going to take a few minutes. Now, I bring to you the topic of the day, the beautiful country of South-East Asia! Malaysia!

**(QC to a map of Malaysia, with Toast in front)**

Toast: Funky, dudes! Malaysia consists of 14 states, 12 here on the peninsula and 2 more here at Borneo, dudes! But hey, should they call this the United States of Malaysia or something? USM? I kinda like it! Rock on to the USM!

**(QC to Froggo)**

Froggo: Right… Anyway, we now bring you a brief history lesson about Malaysia!

**(We now see the map of Malaysia and Singapore and Indonesia. Charity Bazaar was there)**

Charity: In 1400, Prince Parameswara moved to what is now Singapore, and then landed here on the peninsula where it is now the state of Malacca.

**(QC to an open field with a river and a log bridge, and the Sultan resting under a tree, and his followers shading him from the heat.)**

Parameswara: I, Parameswara have fled my home of Palembang, from enemy attacks, to find me the perfect place to call home. (His stomach rumbled) And boy, am I starving. All this running can put up an appetite. Send out the dogs!

Charity: The Prince sent out his hunting dogs to search out for food. It didn't take them long them to find it when a lone mousedeer came into their sights.

**(Two dogs, who resemble Loud Kiddington's dog, Fetch, run out to find a small** **mousedeer on the log bridge. They surround the seemingly frightened deer)**

Dog #1: (licks mouth) Mm-mm, lunch for his Highness!

Dog #2: Let's get 'em.

**(Suddenly, as the dogs rush in, the deer stands on his hind legs and enters a Bruce Lee-like stance, even the shouting sounds like him, and starts kicking the dogs down the river.)**

Dogs: (yelps)

**(The deer stands back on all fours and dusted its hind legs at the river. It raised its head, gave a snort and walks off proudly. The two dogs resurfaced. Dog #1 spat out water.)**

Dog #2: What a grouch!

**(QC to Parameswara)**

Charity: This caught the Prince and his followers by surprise. Sooner or later…

Parameswara: (amazed) D-Did you see that?!

Follower #1 (who looks like Chit Chatterson): I did, your Highness!

Parameswara: (bangs follower's head, making him dizzy in the process) That was a rhetorical question! That deer must live off a great deal of strength and energy from this land! We must claim for ourselves!

Follower #2 (who resembles Bill Straitman): And what shall we call it?

Parameswara: I don't know, but let me think while I rest under the relaxing aura of this tree. What do you call this tree anyway?

**(QC to Benjamin Franklin)**

Ben: Uh, that would be a _Phyllanthus emblica._

**(QC to Parameswara)**

Parameswara: Wait… What's Ben Franklin doing here? (Followers shrug their shoulders)

Follower #2: Here we call it, the Malacca tree, your Majesty.

Parameswara: (thinking and gasps in enlightenment) I got it! We will call this place, Phyllia!

Follower #3: Why don't you just call it Malacca, your Highness?

Parameswara: (slaps forehead) D'oh, alright! Malacca it is!

**(QC back to Malaysia map, with Pepper Mills in front)**

Pepper: And so, with the discovery of Malacca, the Prince then founded a new empire to call his own! AHHH HAHH! I LOVE HIM!

**(QC to Miss Information with a map of Malacca during 1511)**

Miss Info: But back then, early European explorers came down to the Empire and invaded it! In 1511, the Portuguese invaded the capital, and Malacca became part of the Portuguese Empire.

**(QC to World's Oldest Woman)**

W.O.W: Less than three centuries later, the British came and claimed the island of Penang for England.

**(A British man, looking like the British Redcoat seen in "The American Revolution Part 2" episode, places a flag of the Union Jack on Penang Island. His name was Sir Francis Light)**

Francis Light: I, Sir Francis Light, of the English East Indian Company claim this island part of the British Empire. Tea anyone? (takes a sip from a cup of tea)

**(QC to the map of Malaya)**

Froggo: The British had full control of Malaya for quite some time.

Toast: Wait, wait! I thought this was Malaysia? Why are we going somewhere called Malaya?

Pepper: It WAS Malaysia. Well, it won't be called Malaysia until the 1960's. AHH HAAH! (Toast reels from the screaming)

Froggo: There was a rich supply of tin, rubber and trade in the country.

Charity: However, during World War II, the Japanese came to the country and invaded. (Charity slams fist into her palm and the map of Malaya in 1941, shows Japanese expansion into Malaya.)

**(QC to a rural settlement in Malaya, W.O.W as a random villager working at the paddy fields, wiping off her sweat. Suddenly a squadron of Japanese bombers zoom past them, as she and everyone else fled the scene in panic)**

**(Back to the map of Malaya)**

Loud Kiddington: IN 1942, THE JAPANESE HAVE SUCCEEDED IN CONQUERING MALAYA!

**(A Japanese caricature of Prime Minister Tojo, like the one on the "World War II" episode, waves the Japanese flag)**

Tojo: It is all mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!

Loud: BUT IN 1945 THE JAPANESE LOST THE SECOND WORLD WAR AND SURRENDERED MALAYA BACK TO THE BRITISH!

**(An American bomber drops a bomb on Tojo. As the dust settled, we see him burned and in bandages and he was waving the white surrender flag.)**

Japanese: It is yours… (faints)

**(Map of Malaya in 1948)**

Froggo: However, in the late 1940's, after the war, communist forces struck the country and killed three British plantation workers.

**(Camera pans to Joseph Stalin)**

Stalin: I had nothing to do with this, little buddy! (winks at camera) **(A/N~ His little buddy is Froggo. Watch the Russian Revolution episode on Histeria if you wanna know why)**

**(QC to a plantation with three ghosts of plantation workers)**

Worker: Well, we're not happy…

**(QC to Charity, looking rather annoyed.)**

Charity: Hey! That's my line…

**(With her was the portrait of a British officer)**

Charity: People like Sir Gerald Templer had the people of Malaya to fight back at the commies and restore peace.

W.O.W: Eventually by the 1950's communist influence started to decline.

**(QC to Toast in a psychedelic background and he was wearing a 60's style rocker outfit)**

Toast: (rocking out a few beats) And when that happened, it was the rise of psychedelic beauty, man!

**(QC to Malaya in 1957)**

Miss Info: Finally, with the population having had enough of British rule, it was time to declare Malaya independent from the Crown!

**(In a huge stadium, where it was attended by thousands of people. In the arena, a special group of people, including the Duke of Wellington, Queen Elizabeth II, Father Time, Miss Info and some of the other senior Histerians, and other Malayan leaders, were sitting down ready to listen to a speech)**

Froggo: And the man who fought for and announced the event was the country's first Prime Minister, Tunku Abdul Rahman.

Tunku Abdul Rahman: Independence! (raising his arm up high and proudly, as the crowd follows his chants.) Independence! (And it goes on for seven times)

**(Just then, as he was seated back, he sniffs something real nasty.)**

Tunku Abdul Rahman: Whoa! What is that smell?

**(Aka Pella then approaches with Big Fat Baby in her hands.) **

Tunku Abdul Rahman: Pee-yoo! When was the last time this kid had a diaper changed?

Aka: Remember when Parameswara founded the state of Malacca?

Tunku Abdul Rahman: In the 1400's?

Aka: Same day.

**(QC to Parameswara) **

Parameswara: You were not kidding, Mr. Prime Minister, 'cos that baby reeked! (pinched his nose)

**(QC to Malaya map again, where Lucky Bob and Loud Kiddington were looking on at the map)**

Lucky Bob: Yes now!

Loud: IN 1963, THE EASTERN STATES OF SARAWAK AND SABAH WERE HANDED FROM THE BRITISH TO THE NEW GOVERNMENT, AND THE COUNTRY WAS GIVEN A NEW NAME! AND WHAT DO WE GET?!

Miss Info: Malaysia! (hands high in the air, cheerfully)

**(QC to Froggo at the newsstand)**

Froggo: This time around, Malaysia became a tiger economy in Asia. And the citizens of Malaysia live in a multi-racial society mainly consisting of Malays, Indians and Chinese.

**(QC to Martin Luther King Jr.)**

Martin: Now that's a country!

**(QC to Froggo) **

Froggo: Well, that's all we have for today! Till next time, this is Froggo signing off! (waves at camera) Now to have one of those 'fat rice' that the Malaysians called it.

**(A/N~ Actually, the term 'fat rice' was made up. The real word, 'nasi lemak' which sort of spells like 'fat rice', is in fact, just a local delicacy of rice, anchovies, nuts and sometimes chicken or an omelette.)**

**(Camera zooms out as it fades to black)**

**Narrator: We'll be right back for more "Minutes in History!" on Histeria!**

**The End**

**Well, guys. I wanted to promote my country's history as brief as I could. Hope you liked it!**


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